ICEFLOE’S MOSTY VEGETARIAN GRILLED MAC N CHEESE ROO SAUSAGE RECIPE

  Ingredients:

 

• 1 loaf of bread

• 1 stick butter

• 1 box of macaroni noodles

• 1 cup of milk

• 2 tbsp butter

• 3 1/2 cups of shredded Gruyère,

Fontina, Taleggio or Brie cheese.

• 1 tbsp of worcestershire.

• 3/4 tsp Kosher salt

• 1 dash hot pepper sauce.

• 1 cup cold red wine

• 1 cup chopped fresh parsley

• 5 tsp Kosher salt

• 4 to 5 garlic cloves, minced

• 1 tbsp fresh ground pepper

• 3 tsp cayenne

• 5 tbsp fennel seed

• 2 tsp crushed chili peppers

• 5 tbsp paprika

• 5 lbs kangaroo meat

• 1 package of hog casings

• 1 rolling pin

 

 

Instructions :

 

Dynamite a Kangaroo.  If you caught my YouTube video on the subject before those sons of bitches pulled it down (apparently there were issues with the lighting), then you’ll know only roos found in the wild are acceptable for cooking.

 

This will require a trip to Australia.  Tickets run roughly $2,200 round-trip if you book a month in advance, or free if you have a license to kill, like me.

 

Grind the roo into meat.  NOTE: You will be grinding ALL of the roo: fur, claws, teeth, etc. UNLESS you find a baby roo in the pouch.  If alive, let it go.  You can dynamite it when it’s grown.  If dead, grind it.

 

Mix parsley, Kosher salt, minced garlic, pepper, cayenne, fennel seed, crushed chili peppers and paprika thoroughly.  Stirred, not shaken — unless your name is Bond and you’re wearing a tuxedo while banging octopussies in your Aston Martin.

 

Add the 5 lbs of ground roo meat and knead with your hands, not feet.  We’re not making wine, Lucy.  Speaking of wine, add that now and repeat.

 

Fill hog casings until you are out of meat OR hog casings.  If you don’t have a fancy sausage filling apparatus you may use your mouth.

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees, then grease a 2 quart casserole dish with butter because butter, as everyone knows, is God’s semen.  NOTE: Digesting God’s semen does not make you a gayboy – not that there’s anything wrong with that.  It makes you holy.  Trust me, I know the Pope.

 

Bring a large, lightly-salted pot of water to a boil, then add macaroni.  NOTE: Macaroni was named after Lagana Macaroni in the 14th century, who could apparently only get the sexy shakes when finger banged on a bed of pasta.  She will be my second stop when NASA finishes up my time machine.  First stop?  Going Back to the Future to slap steak with Marty McFly’s mom in a DeLorean.  Cook for 8 to 10 min.  Drain.

 

Add worcestershire, salt and dash of hot pepper sauce and milk in sauce pan and heat slowly.

 

Add butter and cheese to the drained macaroni.  Swiss-style cheeses like Gruyère (or its French cousin Comté) would be my choice.  I like my cheese like I like my bitches, a little stinky and from the shittier parts of Europe.

 

Pour milk mixture into macaroni, mix and transfer to casserole pan.  Bake in preheated oven for 30 min.

 

Butter one side of each slice of bread.  During the process you may be tempted to lay your man meat within a slice of buttered bread to fuck it.  This is a perfectly normal temptation, but there’s still work to do so keep the cum gun in your pants, Wild Bill.

 

When casserole is done, spoon Mac N Cheese onto slice of bread.  Add top slice.  Repeat until you are out of Mac N Cheese.  Or bread.  IF you find there is one slice of buttered bread remaining, you may fuck it after dinner.

 

Grill each Mac N Cheese sandwich in skillet.  I like to flip the sandwich when it looks like 27 percent of my bitches, golden brown with crust.

 

Place roo sausages on grill.  If you have a fancy grill, then your target heat is 160 degrees.  Flip after 10 minutes.

One by one, place grilled Mac N Cheese sandwiches on cutting board.  And roll with a rolling pin.  Slowly.  You want them thin without their guts squishing out the sides.

 

Hold flattened Mac N Cheese sandwich in hand, place cooked roo Sausage in center and fold sandwich around it.

 

Now eat Icefloe’s Mostly Vegetarian Mac N Cheese Roo Sausage.  If you find that it is not Vegetarian enough for you, then may eat some grass and shit in the yard like a white-tailed deer, until you are shot by the retardo son of a retardo hunter and stuffed by that lover of taxidermy, Norman Bates.