World, meet Jack Icefloe Jackson. 

 

Straight out of the Alaskan backwoods, Icefloe has a taste for cold beer and hot chili—and a knack for the lost art of dynamite-hunting.

 

Short, fat and bald, he may not look like the world’s greatest sex machine, but the legions of women whose minds have been utterly BLOWN by Icefloe’s legendary six inches would disagree.

 

(Actually, make that four inches, since the fifth would kill a broad, and the sixth would open a rip in the fabric of time.)

 

Icefloe is a new kind of superhero. He may not be the one we want, deserve, or can even stomach, but dammit, he’s the one we’ve got: Repulsive, clueless, racist, sexist, homophobic, misogynistic and grotesque…

 

 … but he’s willing to learn